I should be sleeping, but whatever

Have you ever thought about the forces that shape our lives?
Our parents, our environment, our friends, our mentors, the news and media.
Each welding its hands over force that is our life
How much do we control?
Don't we decide the strength and tensility?
Don't we have a say in what direction it will turn?

But what about the forces we can't see?
What about the the forces that are directed by others towards us?
When I say I trust in the universe, I trust that it will take care of me,
I trust that things will work out, just the way they are supposed to.
They will work out in a way that is best for me and all those around me,
all those whose lives are connected to my own.

But what about when you known a force is in opposition to the way you feel life should be?
they way you think that things ought to be and will be if the universe is looking out for you?
How do you play with the "supernatural" or subliminal forces that others guide.

But wait.
Did I just lose faith?

Faith that I am not alone.
Faith that there is a higher spirit and higher force to which we all belong.
Faith that there is a reason why I am here.
Faith that I can become a vessel through which the work is done.
Faith that even if others think not, the work will continue.
Faith that the universe will take care of me, if I let it run its course.

The faith is not shattered. I do trust.

But why am I not convinced?