Saturday, October 14, 2006

Anarben's story- part 3

I’ll share another story with you. A short while back, I had gone to the tekra for a mothers’ meeting. At the meeting, I spoke to the woman about women’s issues, the support that is available, etc. At the end of my talk, the women began to share their stories. One woman’s story reduced us all to tears. She was a victim of immense sexual abuse by her husband. Her situation was horrific. Her husband harassed her at work and at home. Her husband derived pleasure from her suffering, screams and agony. As I listened to her speak, I was thinking of ways to help this woman. I spent a good half hour to hour talking to her, trying to make her see that her situation was unacceptable and that alternatives were available. After calmly listening to me give possible solutions, the woman told me she could not leave and would endure what was written in her fate. I didn’t know how to respond. She continued by saying that she felt much better just talking to me. Now she felt like there was someone to listen to her and give her moral support and that was all she needed. She asked if she could come back and talk to me and of course the answer was yes. The woman didn’t come back, her family actually ended up moving out of the tekra soon after, but our encounter taught me a lot. There are so many times where we feel like people need material things- food, clothing, money, etc- but so many times all people want is a hand to hold and a ear to listen. My presence and support gave the woman strength. It’s not always about the material things- the greatest gift we can give is ourselves and our time.
Seva work is a rosy and perfect lifestyle. There are many challenges. Many people believe that Jayesh and I are the perfect couple with no martial problems, but no relationship is perfect. We too have gone through our ups and downs. There have been times when things have been very difficult and we needed to live with one another. It’s taken a lot of work on both of our parts. Jayesh and I are very different. Jayesh doesn’t like to wear fancy clothes or go to movies, etc while I do. We began to look at what we liked and didn’t like in one another and then began to change. We began to adjust ourselves to suit the other person. For example, this means that Jayesh will wear clothes that I buy him that aren’t jabho-leghnos. Our awareness of each other’s likes and dislikes grew and we adjusted ourselves accordingly to make each other happy. It’s takes a lot of effort, but when you love someone, you’ll go that extra mile. We love each other deeply and thus were willing to change for other. You all met Jayesh, you know he talks a lot. I’ve often told him that. I personally am more introverted. Now when Jayesh goes to give a talk, he might talk for an hour, an hour and half. When we leave, he’ll turn to me and say, “I spoke a little too much, didn’t I?” Today, we have passed through some of the more challenging times, but the process is ongoing. We are continually adjusting ourselves to the other.

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